"Get Fit at Boot Camp? What are you @#!!! Crazy?"
–
Today I talked with a great boot camper who confessed something.
She told me she had to break up with her boyfriend…
…over boot camp!
Wow.
Well…
You know…
So often, when people profess the desire to join Portland Boot Camp, they receive derision from so-called friends, family, or even spouses.
As soon as those unfortunate women so much as whisper they are joining, they receive derogatory remarks. Sometimes the remarks are subtle. The “friend” may pretend to feel concerned and say things like, “But you don’t need to lose weight – who wants to do all that exercise – it’ll never work – you’ve tried other plans and classes before, why waste your money?”
Now, sometimes they are right. Maybe the person HAS tried a lot of different things and they are expressing genuine concern.
But quite often the harsh reality is:
they aren’t concerned at all.
Instead, they feel threatened.
They know, subconsciously, if their target dares to improve themselves, then they will have to face their own feelings, insecurities, and growing self-dissatisfaction.
For them, the easiest way to avoid self-improvement is to attack others for trying.
Fortunately, there are ways to handle these would-be success-interrupters.
Here are a few examples.
You could:
- Ignore them until they give up trying to bait you.
- You can firmly tell them you have made a decision and are sticking to it.
- Walk away from them and discontinue the relationship.
Let’s get real here: if someone wants to stop you from getting fit, they have issues. And perhaps it’s time to think about whether they add value to your life or rob you of your right to improve your life as you see fit.
Here are a few favorite phrases of the fitness haters…
“Oh, come on. One piece won’t hurt!”
“Just a bite! LIVE a little…it’s so good you won’t believe it!”
Or…
“Running? Oooh I hate running. Why would you want to do that?”
“Oooh. Exercise. We’re all gonna die anyway. What’s the point?”
The whole charade is designed to make the receiver feel guilty or negative about self-improvement.
But it’s all designed to give the antagonist psychological relief from having to exert EFFORT for self-change.
As they say, “Misery Loves Company.”
So true.
So true.
Stay the course. Decide what is right for YOUR life.
And if it is Portland Boot Camp…
I will be there with you, and for you as always.
Live long and laugh a lot,
D
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26 Comments
When I first started my fitness journey over 8 years ago I joined a gym doing a 3/day a week membership. Within only a few short days I was hooked and realized that this is where I should have always been. I had found my home! When I decided to bump up my membership to everyday access, my then-boyfriend had a fit and was upset that this would take too much time away from him. Instead of being happy for me, instead of being proud, instead of wanting to join me and get fit together, he was angry. I knew that I had to end the relationship with him and continue my new relationship with myself and becoming a better me. His negativity was not going to stop my new found lease on life. And no one has since…
Oh, Kendra.
I never knew about this. Of course, why would I? But still…it makes me “blue” to hear that you didn’t receive support when you most needed it. Of course, now here you are. As the Australians say: Good on Ya Mate! Thanks for the killer comment.
We are BOMBARDED with negativity every day, in a lot of different ways….in the news, TV shows, radio, at work etc. it’s infectious. Our friends and family don’t KNOW they are being negative, it’s become a habitual way of thinking and talking. They might even think they are being supportive, (which just goes to show you how disconnected they really are) Over the course of my life I’ve had to let some “GOOD” friends go, because of lifestyle choices they made (drugs). Well….negativity is just as destructive, it seems to lead to poor choices and more negativity….a continuing downward spiral! Let’s turn off the news, listen to music that makes us dance (or do squats), watch movies that make us laugh,spend time with the people that bring us joy. Ditch the nay-sayers, see negativity for what it really is ( FEAR) and give them a big HUG! BCB’s RULE!
Hear Hear! I no longer watch the news. I know I will hear about it if is important anyway. And I too have had to say goodbye to people who offered a net negative to my life. I think it is funny if anyone outside of boot camp reads this, they will wonder, “what music could possibly make me do squats?”
No fear.
Thanks, Deb.
Agreed Deb. I to have had to modify some relationships. Daniel, I think you got it right when you said they have issues. The comments I keep hearing are, “Wow. Boot camp is working for you but don’t you think it will all come back once summer is over?” Boot camp has been great for me. It has provided a place where I can do what I thought I could not and supportive positive people.
“Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that. The really great make you feel that you too can become great.” Mark Twain
Boot Campers are the really great as is Daniel.
If you surround yourself with the good and righteous, they can only raise you up. If you surround yourself with the others, they will drag you down into the doldrums of mediocrity, and they will keep you there, but only as long as you permit it” Mark Glamak
Susannah, I have seen you grow younger by 10 years visually in just the last 3 weeks. You have the best attitude. You are amazing. Thank you so much for such a great comment and the Mark Twain quote is priceless!
Double thumbs up!
Ha! Good one. Thanks1
Sometime’s you have to do things that are just for yourself. You can’t listen to others who will not support you. Use their negativity and turn to into positive engery for yourself…..prove them wrong. Remember we always have the last tight belly laugh!!!! BOOT CAMP ROCKS
Mona
You’re right, Mona. It’s hard to believe that people don’t just naturally support each other. I’m convinced it’s a form of mental virus.
Thanks a million.
Well put, Daniel. I totally agree… those who naysay are only expressing their own internal insecurities.
And, if a significant other is not willing to support you in your efforts to improve your health and life then you really need to question what role they are playing in your life.
So true. When we shine, we give others permission to shine. But sometimes those others aren’t trying to shine, they are trying to hide in the corner. We all need support, not cowardly antagonism which diminishes us.
I have been criticized my whole life for being fat and I have been criticized my whole life for giving weight loss my all. At some point you just have to decide for yourself what you really want.
Do you feel more comfortable in your skin they way you are or do you want to feel more confident?
Do you want to turn off the alarm and go back to sleep or do you want to get push yourself harder than you ever have in your life?
Do you really want to eat that cheeseburger and fries and continue to feel bad about yourself or do you want to have that fresh salad with a grilled chicken breast and feel amazing about the choices you have made today?
It can be hard when you are in a relationship if your partner does not want to follow the same path as you; if your partner does not choose to exercise or does not choose to eat like the new you. I deal with this everyday. What I have decided to do is to designate time in the day for me. If I choose today I am going for a run then that is what I will do. It is not up to the other person. It is your time.
When it comes to food I have decided to prepare the meals I want/need to eat in addition to a starch for my partner. We have found that this way we both are satisfied after the meal and he doesn’t feel like I am forcing a diet upon him.
I have learned that it is important to be selfish sometimes. Do what is right for you. Don’t let what ANYONE says get in your way. If you do, you will have self doubt and you will struggle to the finish line. Keep you head up high and know what you are doing is exactly what you are supposed to do!
You have come such a long way. It’s obvious that you have decided you really want to be the boss of your life. Everybody in boot camp can see how far you have come. Congrats to you for finding a way to carve out your own time and self-growth channels. I don’t think you are selfish… just rationally self-focused.
Way to go, D!
Whenever I’ve set out to do something like losing weight, getting in shape, eating healthier, running a half marathon…then the full marathon…there have always been people in my life who have said “You can’t do that”, “Are you NUTS?”, or “You don’t need to lose weight”. My responses to those comments are: “I FEEL better when I eat better”, “I am more COMFORTABLE at a lower weight”, and “I don’t live to work out, but I work out to live.” MY advice to anyone venturing out to try a new exercise/diet/healthy lifestyle change is this: for those who tell you that you “can’t do that” or “you won’t stick to it”– say “Yes, I CAN get in shape/run that marathon/lose weight”, and “I’m CHOOSING to be healthier today”. It’s all about choices. And for those of you who think you don’t have the time….think again….how many hours do spend in front of the TV every day? If something is worth the time/effort (which YOU are), you CHOOSE to MAKE the time.
Weird to me that people really will try to stop you from achieving. I love what you said about time… we all have time… even if it is 10 minutes… taking the stairs instead of escalators etc. Heck, you can even work out while watching TV! So true, Melissa. Great comment.
Every word about this post is so true! You just have to remember to love yourself first, commit to making yourself better and stick to it! Surround yourself with people who support you (i.e. boot campers!) and are genuinely interested in watching you succeed. Trust me…it is worth it!
You are in a great place, Lauren. Your husband supports your endeavors and that is so great. We can pick and choose our friends and loved ones. It IS worth it. Well put.
Dude and Dudettes:
Being strong is intimidating to those that are weak. Strong & healthly people attract strong & healthy relationships. Love thyself, so that others can love you as thyself. Carry on, ladies. Chick’s rule.
Ha! I rarely get called “Dude”. Way to put it, Kimberly. The intimidation they feel is not one born of reacting to aggressive posturing… it’s one born of fear of the light shining in those who love themselves rationally. Love thyself, yes!
Oh my gosh! I just want to hug that woman! Life is too short to hang with negative, unsupporting people. Bootcamp is the exact opposite of that…support and strength (which you are building) at the same time. We come with so much baggage….sometimes the baggage is human. Bootcamp gives you the strength to know what YOU NEED and that is the secret of exercise. When we say building strenth–it is mental and physical. She has made a leap in mental strength based on her physical strength. Right on!
She is a super cool lady, I can tell you that. Life IS too short to spend it with those who drag you down. And thank you, Julie, I agree: Boot Camp IS the opposite. It’s all about support and strength. We are all stronger than we realize…
Wow! I now realize even more how important it is to surround ourselves with positive people in our lives! I have so much support from my family and friends and they offer encouragement and are constantly asking what I did at bootcamp each day. But you know what? That’s how I would treat any of my friends who joined bootcamp. I wouldn’t think about disparaging someone about wanting to take better care of him/herself. And one of my favorite things about bootcamp is the continuous cheering and encouragement we receive from Daniel and from one another. That motivation moves me deeply and keeps me going all day long. I am so inspired by fellow bootcampers and I’m amazed each day at the incredible energy and dedication that I see. Here’s a toast (with water, of course) to bootcamp, positive thinking, and taking care of ourselves! Cheers! Lori
I can’t imagine a life surrounded by negative people. Yet, I have to say that seems to be more and more common.
Thanks for the great comment, Lori. I’m so happy that boot camp helps you keep going all day long. I’m inspired greatly, daily, by the boot campers aw well. CHEERS!
Great post! WOW, you’ve made me so thankful that I have so many awesome friends and family encouraging me. Most of them are just so proud because they can’t imagine that they can do it themselves.
I did have “friends” at work with issues…one who only focused on how “fat” they felt when I’d talk about bootcamp, and another who immediately decided that I was risking an eating disorder. Come on! I’ve just ignored it, and avoided talking about bootcamp with them. But they can’t detract from my pride and satisfaction in my progress.
Thank you, Daniel!
My pleasure, Brittany. If anything you know that my food plan is anything but a risk for eating disorder. Ha. I like your strategy of ignoring it and not mentioning boot camp. And no, they cannot detract from your earned pride and satisfaction. Go get em, ROCKSTAR!